I Might Buzz My Hair Off

Dear Hair of Mine,

We have such a variable relationship. Right now you feel greasy. You’re also quite matted. I’m sure you would love to be brushed, but my scalp is so sensitive right now that the idea of brushing sounds wretched.

I’m sure you’d also like a good wash too, but I am not in the mood for a shower or bath. I’m seldom in the mood for the uncomfortable sensory aspects of a shower. While I adore how a bath feels, I don’t have time for that right now. And who wants a rushed bath? So I’m afraid you shall remain greasy.

You know, that’s usually what happens. You have to stay in your greasy state until I finally can’t stand it anymore.

Right now you also feel quite coarse. I don’t like it when you feel this way. I like it when you’re smooth and soft. When I can barely notice you’re there until I reach over and touch you.

Continuous Line Drawing by Jackie Schuld

I really feel like buzzing you off right now. I know I would regret that though. You protect me from cold breezes on my head. Furthermore, I enjoy the sensation of you down my back sometimes. Usually when I’m doing nothing. For as you know - sometimes I dislike your length. Like when I’m trying to put on my backpack or you get stuck under me while I’m moving about in my sleep.

I’m sure others would suggest I just cut you, but they don’t understand that your length enables me to control you more. I can throw you in a pony or pin you up on my head. I do have to be careful though because your length adds to the weight and sometimes if I don’t secure you in the right way, it pulls and I get headaches.

You and I seem to go through phases together, where there is something that feels particularly good to us and so we keep doing that day after day. I’m actually the same when it comes to my clothes, so don't think you’re too special. Haha.

Truthfully though, you are quite special to me. I used to think I should experiment with you more. But I’ve done enough experimenting to know I like you just how you are. I admittedly like the attention that long hair gets me. Or maybe it’s also the bit about distraction. I don’t wear make-up. I don’t pluck my eyebrows. A successful morning routine consists of a small bit of lotion and brushing my teeth. That’s it. I don’t even wash my face. I like things simple. I like simple clothes. I like simple jewelry, or no jewelry at all. I feel like you are my one adornment.

When we have a good hair day together, it’s like it impacts everything about how I look. You truly have immense power.

There are also certain aspects of you that I’ve learned to work with. Like my flyaway hairs that I call “tentacles.” I’ve learned my lotion helps, and then I also know there’s an element I cannot control. So I live in the middle and don’t obsess about you like I used to.

I guess I’m just acknowledging our relationship. The inherent contradictions. That there are things I want from you (to be softer), that I could control (take a shower), and then don’t.

I like that I can trim away at you with scissors and not have to go to someone else to take care of you, even though I know they’d do a far better job.

I like that you smell so good sometimes because of how well you absorb smells, but then get frustrated when you absorb the smells of exhaust or pollution.

It’s a mixed bag. I guess like me. I’m the same. Many of my greatest strengths also are my greatest challenges.

I think overall, I want to say thanks for hanging in there with me. It’s fun to think about all of the things you have witnessed and heard while with me. You feel special to me in that way.

Please let me know if there’s anything you need from me - as long as it doesn’t put me out of my way too much. Haha.

Take care, my dear friend,

Jackie

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